I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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