I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize