I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize