You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
