It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
