He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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