This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
