It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
