my soul wont recognize me after tonight
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
