I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
