I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
