never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
