i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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