I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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