I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I wish there were birth control emojis
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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