My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize