i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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