Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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