Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize