I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my being single is dangerous.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
