we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
