This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize