But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
a search helicopter?!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
