Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize