Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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