i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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