remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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