never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
