Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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