In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
