Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
