did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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