I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize