what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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