May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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