i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
