Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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