You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
two words: eviction party
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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