Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
