I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
