Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
