And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
