I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
