She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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