Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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