alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Shame is for Republicans.
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