But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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