i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
