Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
