Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
