My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
