i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
