He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
