We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just blew my weed a kiss
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
