it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
