I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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