On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize