My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
