before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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